My Venture Diary — Slow It Down

[EP12] This week, I’m at my lowest.

Earlier this week, the 2025 Grammy Awards caught everyone’s attention. One of my favorite artists — Benson Boone — was nominated for Best New Artist and delivered an amazing performance (as always!) during the ceremony. If you happen to be a fan like me, you might recognize this week’s title, Slow It Down, as one of his songs! Although the song is about love, its message resonates with what I’m going through — except it has nothing to do with relationships.

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Another major event this week was the passing of beloved Taiwanese celebrity Barbie Hsu due to the flu. The news shocked many people around the world, not only because she was just 48 years old but also because of her legendary career. Personally, I don’t feel much connection with Barbie since I didn’t grow up watching her movies, shows, or listening to her music. Just by seeing how the media has been reporting her, it’s clear not only how successful she was but also what a kind and warm-hearted person she had always been.

I’m well aware that I go through emotional highs and lows (I mean, who doesn’t?), but my slumps seem to follow a schedule. I think it started in high school or university — almost every season, I’d go through a phase where I just don’t want to do anything. Even watching Netflix feels like too much effort. It’s as if all my energy is drained, leaving me with nothing but the urge to lie in bed. And usually, these slumps don’t stem from any major event in my personal life — they just happen out of the blue.

Typically, these low periods last for a few days. What makes them worse is the guilt of not being productive, which only amplifies my mood. But it’s not like my mind shuts off entirely — on the contrary, it’s still running, thinking, and reflecting. My thoughts often revolve around the meaning of life, but now that I’m no longer a sad employee, half of my brain is always working on my venture.

Starting a company in Thailand as a foreigner has been a headache. On top of that, my intuition is telling me that no one involved (including myself) is in the right place to push things forward. Everyone has their own issues to deal with right now. So, I decided to hit pause — I haven’t turned on my computer for two days, nor have I checked anything related to the project.

This Friday, I went to the temple with my parents — our usual tradition for Chinese New Year (though we went late this year to avoid the holiday crowds). After our usual prayers, I drew a lot asking for guidance. Guess what? I got the unluckiest fortune slip. The interpretation read:

“This fortune signifies unfavorable destiny, and all matters will be inauspicious. At this time, it is best to cultivate oneself, practice virtue, do good deeds, and seek divine blessings. In doing so, fate will naturally change for the better.”

I didn’t panic when I saw “下下籤” (literally the worst fortune you can get). Instead, I felt a quiet sense of relief. It mirrored exactly what I was thinking and going through. I used to be skeptical about these things, but as I’ve learned more about spirituality, I’ve come to believe that everything is a form of energy — and yes, I now believe that gods exist.

After two days of doing nothing, I finally picked up Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza — a book I had started but never finished. The section on midlife crises gave me a lot of insight. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was going through a tough time, venting to me almost every day. I understood his pain and wanted to support him, but I also realized it was draining my own energy. He was undoubtedly experiencing a midlife crisis, complicated by relationship issues. While I tried my best to help, I also learned the importance of protecting my own energy — because if you’re not strong yourself, you can’t help anyone else.

Reflecting on that, I wonder if the emotional lows I’ve experienced are similar to a midlife crisis. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but maybe it’s my soul’s way of reminding me to look inward and change?

I apologize for this week’s diary being a little unstructured or less insightful — I just needed a short break. But I’ll be back stronger!

I’m Janet. The Venture Diary is my journey as an ordinary Taiwanese girl venturing into the world of entrepreneurship in Thailand.

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